David Brent or Kristen Stewart?

Who said it: David Brent, buffoonish “Office” boss, or Kristen Stewart, petulant ingenue giving an interview to Vanity Fair? (Pronouns and a few gender clues changed, but otherwise verbatim.)

A. “When people say to me: Would you rather be thought of as a funny [person] or a great [professional]? My answer’s always the same: to me, they’re not mutually exclusive.”

B. “What matters to me is that the people in the room leave and say, ‘[He or she] was cool. [He or she] had a good time. [He or she] was honest.’”

C. “I don’t care about the voracious, starving sh-t eaters who want to turn truth into sh-t.”

D. “A philosopher once wrote you need three things to have a good life. One, a meaningful relationship; two, a decent job of work, and three, to make a difference. And it was always that third one that stressed me, to make a difference. And I realize that I do.”

E. “People see me, and they see the [formal clothes], and they go: ‘You’re not fooling anyone.’ They know I’m rock and roll through and through.”

F. “If I took perfect pictures all the time, the people standing in the room with me … would think, What an [actor]! What a faker!”

A, D, E: Brent; B, C, F: Stewart


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