Excerpts from the depressingly defensive “About Hooters” page on Hooters.com

Is something bothering you, Hooters.com? Your corporate “About Us” page is the most awkwardly defensive corporate document I’ve ever read. Relax, you’re a multimillion-dollar company. You don’t have convince all of us to love you! Step 1 to improved self-esteem: Your description of yourself shouldn’t read like a how-to on letting the haters get you down:

Claims that Hooters exploits attractive women are as ridiculous as saying the NFL exploits men who are big and fast. Hooters Girls have the same right to use their natural female sex appeal to earn a living as do super models Cindy Crawford and Naomi Campbell.

To Hooters, the women’s rights movement is important because it guarantees women have the right to choose their own careers, be it a Supreme Court Justice or Hooters Girl.

The chain acknowledges that many consider “Hooters” a slang term for a portion of the female anatomy.

According to ever-increasing sales figures, the Hooters concept must be acceptable to a large majority of American consumers. Hooters believes critics of the concept are a vocal minority of politically correct minded individuals.

Sex appeal is legal and it sells.

Pantyhose and bras are required.

Finally, the rousing conclusion!:

The company has no plans to alter the concept and feels doing so would be a tremendous disservice to its franchisees, employees, and customers.

Geez, that is grim. Cheer up, Hooters! Your wings are the Playboy articles of mediocre bar food!

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2 responses to “Excerpts from the depressingly defensive “About Hooters” page on Hooters.com

  1. Also bizarre that panty-hose are cited in their defense.

  2. robertwallacegraham

    The Civil Rights Movement was important because it gave African-Americans the choice of choosing their own citizenship rights, be it freedom or Jim Crow racism.

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