Guest post from a 12-year-old boy.

Today the New York Times published a story that was either about a golf tournament or an epic orgy. As Dave Barry might say, I’m not making this up.

Limping, Tiger Woods Withdraws After 9 Holes

“I was trying to draw that ball out there just a little bit; I pushed forward and just didn’t feel good.” – Tiger Woods

“Everything started getting tight.” – Tiger Woods

“I’m having a hard time walking.” – Tiger Woods

“Woods said he was surprised he had to withdraw.”

“Asked if would have been wiser to come off earlier, Woods replied, ‘Probably.’”

“The more rest I get, the better it would be, obviously.” – Tiger Woods

“Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to finish.” – Tiger Woods

Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.

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